Andy Borowitz on Rich Little

As part of a bold new strategy to confuse the enemy, the Pentagon announced today that it was sending comedian/impressionist Rich Little to Iraq to entertain the insurgents....

... after seeing Mr. Little perform at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner Saturday night in Washington, the Pentagon decided that Mr. Little was just the man for the job, and “Operation Little Entertainment” was born.

Said one Pentagon planner, “If Rich Little can quiet down Iraq the way he silenced that room Saturday night, we’ll consider this mission a big success.”...

“I have had enough,” pleaded insurgent Hassan El-Medfaii, who attended Mr. Little’s show. “Please make the bombing stop.”

Andy Borowitz on the Gonzales hearing

A smoldering pile of ashes found on a chair in the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing room is believed to be the remains of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, officials confirmed today....

At the White House, President Bush gave Mr. Gonzales’ a vote of confidence, telling reporters, “I believe that Alberto can continue to be an effective Attorney General, even if he is a smoldering pile of ashes.”

Can someone teach me how to link properly to the Borowitz site? For those who don't know it, get it! Great way to start the day.

The Gonzales Watch: Andy Borowitz Scores Big

[working on link problem--Entry is all Andy]

Bush Offers U.S. Attorneys New Positions in Iraq
Attempt to Calm Furor over Mass Sacking

In a bold attempt to end the controversy over the sacking of eight United States attorneys, President George W. Bush today offered the fired prosecutors what he called “exciting new positions” in Iraq.

With the President facing pressure from Congress over the firing of the attorneys and funding for the continuing war effort, Mr. Bush told reporters at the White House that sending the “surge” of eight U.S. attorneys to Baghdad was a “win-win” solution to both problems....


Mr. Bush said that dispatching a surge of lawyers to Baghdad will be send a strong message to insurgents and terrorists that they can no longer take the law into their own hands.

“I have strongly felt for some time that we need more suits on the ground,” Mr. Bush said.